Mother’s Day Reflections: Embracing the Chaos and Joy of Motherhood with ADHD
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers, caregivers, guardians, foster mothers, adoptive mothers, grandmothers, and teachers who look after hundreds of children as their own each year.
With Mother's Day today, I sit here pondering the beautiful chaos that comprises my life. Being a mother with ADHD is a life of one-of-a-kind challenges and surprises of delight.
I homeschool my children, work the night shift as a postpartum doula, and operate both an online and bringing our reselling business back to life after my husband’s detrimental accident last year.
It's a life that calls for flexibility, determination, and a sense of humor.
The Dance of Homeschooling with ADHD
Homeschooling with ADHD is like playing an orchestra where each instrument has its own mind. Some days it's beautiful; other days it's a distraction symphony. I've learned that rules are necessary, but so is flexibility. We have a routine, but it's more of a plan than a schedule. If a lesson isn't going well, we change gears. If the sun is shining too brightly to be ignored, we go outside and learn.
Visuals are my favorite things. Bulletin boards, colored charts, and checklists remind us to stay on track. I also use alarms and reminders to help us make it through topic transitions. These are not just for my children—they're for me as well.
Night Shifts and the Art of Adaptation
Working at night as a postpartum doula is another aspect of my already complicated existence. Helping new mothers navigate their most vulnerable moments is immeasurably fulfilling, yet it means my sleep cycle is irregular. I sleep when possible and survive on caffeine and sheer willpower.
This nightlife style requires organization. I precook meals in advance, set study materials out in advance, and talk frankly to my family members about our unique timetable. We're in it together, and I appreciate that they accommodate my schedule.
Building and Rebuilding: The Entrepreneurial Spirit
It's both exciting and exhausting to have an online business and revive my reselling business. ADHD gives rise to a torrent of ideas and the urge for creativity but renders it challenging to concentrate and stay organized.
I've learned to utilize a hyperfocus period for productive time and forgive myself during distraction periods. I organize projects through task management tools to remain on top of tasks and create realistic goals so that I do not end up being burned out. Small successes remind me to remain encouraged and also understand the progress achieved.
The Power of Nature and Daily Grounding
Amidst the turmoil, nature is where I get my sanity. Every day, I spend a minute to step outside, get the grass between my toes, and inhale deeply. It is this little act that grounds me, allowing me to get a moment of peace and concentration. It's a reminder every day that, despite the chaos, there is beauty and peace to be found.
These little doses of the great outdoors aren't just a corrective thing—necessities. They get me back to me and facilitate the emotional grounding required to care for my loved ones and pursue my vocation.
Embracing the Journey with Love and Laughter
Motherhood with ADHD is a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and unshakeable love. It's learning to love the imperfections, finding beauty in small moments, and laughing through the chaos. I've learned to be compassionate with myself, to seek help when needed, and to honor the unique gifts that ADHD brings to my life.
This Mother's Day, I honor all mothers on their individual paths. Your creativity, resilience, and love are the threads that sewn together make up the beautiful tapestry of your family's story.
🌸 Celebrate Mother's Day with Empowering Resources 🌸
In honor of Mother's Day, I'm excited to offer two resources designed to support and empower mothers like you:
Brain Bloom Bootcamp: A comprehensive program tailored for mothers managing ADHD, homeschooling, and entrepreneurial pursuits. Join now and receive a special 50% discount during our Mother's Day presale! (Send “Bloom” to chatterbrainmommy@gmail.com)
eBook – Focus, Energize, and Thrive: Discover practical strategies to enhance focus, boost energy, and thrive in your multifaceted life. Available now on Amazon: Focus, Energize, and Thrive
Step into these tools to feed your well-being and keep on your journey with confidence and joy.
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you—if you make a purchase through one of these links. I only recommend products I genuinely love and believe can add value, especially for ADHD brains like ours. Thank you for supporting this blog!
Why You're Failing at ADHD: Undiagnosed and Misdiagnosed in Black Women
Image credits
Jessica Felicio
As a Black Woman with ADHD, I was both misdiagnosed and undiagnosed as a teenager and as an adult. I was a busy child, but not busy enough to be considered hyperactive.
I was considered to be busy, not bad, because my mama didn’t want me to have the concept that I was bad or had behavior issues. Another symptom that I had when I was a kid was that I was a “chatterbox.”
Well, that hasn’t changed much at all, and sometimes my mouth moves faster than my mind. I talked for hours about different things, and I was just considered gifted.
I knew how to behave when in public and was just simply silly acting when at home. My parents did not look at me as if something was wrong with me because I was deemed to be so intelligent.
They thought this because, according to my teachers and how they observed me, I learned objectives faster than the average child my age and retained so much information.
Now, I cannot say this in today’s day and time because I have more of a “chatterbrain.”
Fast forward to today’s time. As an adult, I was misdiagnosed as having ADD for years, beginning at age 31.
The first psychiatrist and therapist that I saw stated that I had ADD because my attention span was very short during my sessions and I did not make eye contact for a long period.
Since they weren’t my boo thang, I didn’t realize that I had to look them in the eye, so why would I do so in the first place?
In my eyes, they were simply there to know my business and not to help with anything that I couldn’t help with myself.
Then I went to one psychiatrist, and she informed me that my diagnosis was incorrect.
I was appalled because I knew that I did have attention issues. The psychiatrist based their diagnosis on what was observed and talked about in the office, as well as any notes that the therapist wrote in their sessions.
I was then given the correct diagnosis of having ADHD.
Both my therapist and psychiatrist explained to me the symptoms that I resonated with as to why I now have ADHD and not ADD.
'What's wrong with me?' ADHD undiagnosed in Black girls
This type of misdiagnosis happens all the time to Black women specifically.
Some psychiatric physicians will not look deeply into what is going on with the patient based on their symptoms, conversation, or how they are acting. Instead, these physicians will just come up with something on their own or look it up online without really utilizing observation or testing.
When the physicians do this, they will just prescribe a specific medication, which entails more issues than before.
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. ~Aristotle
Overall, there is no better teacher than you.
It is important to understand your diagnosis and not self-diagnose but to know what is going on with your body and mind.
This will save a lot of misdiagnosing and underdiagnosing time for physicians if there is a clearer understanding to begin with.
This all starts with recognizing symptoms and knowing when something isn’t quite right.
Have you ever been undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with a mental illness?
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Check out the planner listed here that helped me stay on task daily.