How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting: A Mother's Heart
Becoming a mother is the most joyous and unconditional, and indescribable feeling ever. Motherhood is full of moments that pull at your heart.
The love that you feel for your child is unconditional because they are a part of you. You love your child deeply, yet sometimes the exhaustion, the overwhelm, and the feeling of not being heard bubble over until you find yourself raising your voice, even when you don't want to.
This tends to hurt you more than it hurts their feelings. You try to keep a stern face and then when all is well, you go in your secret place…the bathroom. The only place that is sacred enough for you to be alone for 10 minutes or so before the cavalry comes to find you.
There is where you do it. Yes, you let it out. You cry, sob, sniff all at the same time, but quietly.
You didn’t want to raise your voice. They just won’t listen and it hurt you so so bad to you heart to raise your voice.
You ask yourself, "How can I stop yelling when my child just won't listen?" — know this: you're not alone, and there's hope.
The fact that you want to stop yelling does not make you a bad mom. It makes you a gorgeous aware mom who is striving toward a higher way. And the reality is, when we yell, it's not because we're mean. It's because we're frazzled, not being heard ourselves, or longing for connection desperately.
This month is our month. Something that I have been doing since the beginning of 2025 is protecting my peace.
Let’s do this together and let this month be our time to focus on peace over power.
First, Here is a small prayer for you Mom
A Prayer for Mom
Every morning, pray:
"Lord, help me be the safe place my child runs to, not the storm he hides from."
You are already wrapped in grace, Mama. Every moment you pause, breathe, connect, and try again is a victory.
Your child — and your heart — are growing together.
5 Ways to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting
1. Stop Your Body First
As frustration arises, don't speak hastily. Stop your body: keep your hands still, release your shoulders, and breathe into the ground.
Whisper this prayer in your heart: "Holy Spirit, help me respond with peace, not power."
This small shift tells your nervous system that you are okay. You don't have to fight to be heard.
2. Connect Before You Correct
Before giving commands, slow down and bond. Drop down to your child's level. Gently place your hand on their shoulder or take their hand. Say, "Hey buddy, I really need your ears right now."
Kids listen best when they first feel heard, safe, and loved.
3. Use a Firm but Calm Tone
Yelling has a tendency to zone out children, whereas a lowered, stern tone makes them lean in.
You can quietly say, "This is important. Listen carefully." Lower your voice instead of raising it. It not only gains attention but also keeps your own heart peaceful.
4. Establish Clear, Compassionate Consequences
Instead of going on and on and on until frustration erupts, set a quiet boundary:
"You have until I count to 5 to put your shoes on. If not, I'll put them on for you, and it may not be how you like."
Follow up with kindness, not anger. Boundaries can be firm and loving.
5. Forgive Yourself Quickly
You will not be perfect — that's alright. If you shout, pause, take a breath, and model humility:
"Mommy got upset. I'm sorry. Let's try again together."
This teaches your child emotional control even more than never losing your temper would.
A Prayer for June
Every morning, pray:
"Lord, help me be the safe place my child runs to, not the storm he hides from."
You are already wrapped in grace, Mama. Every moment you pause, breathe, connect, and try again is a victory.
Your child — and your heart — are growing together. 🌿
If you’ve ever worried you’re not “doing enough,” that your ADHD brain is too scattered, or that you’re falling behind as a mama, listen close—because I’ve lived that fear.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Mindfulness doesn’t mean perfection.
It means presence.
It means grace.
It means choosing to bloom into your God-given self—even when the process is messy.
That’s why I created Brain Bloom Bootcamp—a slide-based, soul-sparking journey for folks with ADHD brains who are ready to:
🧠 Embrace how they’re wired
🌸 Practice simple mindfulness daily
💫 Reconnect with purpose, calm, and clarity
No long videos. No lectures. Just powerful visuals + prompts that make you say,
“Mind like whoa... that’s ME.”
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Use code: BLOOM75 at checkout.
Because your peace is sacred, and you don’t need to earn rest. You just need to receive it.
🎯 Grab your slides and start blooming today → here
Managing Household Chaos: Tips for Moms with ADHD
Let’s be real: managing a household with ADHD is like trying to organize a rave in a wind tunnel. You’ve got kids yelling, dinner burning, and a calendar full of events you forgot to add reminders for. If this sounds like your daily life, welcome to the club. But don’t worry—chaos can be managed.
The ADHD Brain vs. Daily Routines: Moms with ADHD often struggle with executive dysfunction. Translation: starting tasks, prioritizing them, and actually finishing them can feel nearly impossible, especially when there are a million interruptions. According to ADDitude Magazine, routines are a lifeline, but only if they’re flexible, simple, and dopamine-friendly.
Strategy #1: Keep It Simple, Sis (K.I.S.S.) Don’t try to be a Pinterest-perfect planner mama. Use a dry-erase board or a visual daily flow chart for you and the kids. Break things down into mini routines—like a “morning flow” or “evening wind-down”—instead of a strict schedule. ADHD brains thrive with short sprints, not marathons.
Strategy #2: Use ADHD-Friendly Tools. Here’s what can help:
Time Timer: A visual timer that shows how much time is left.
Todoist or Trello: Task apps that let you brain-dump and organize your chaos into boards.
Alexa or Google Assistant: Set up recurring voice reminders and alarms (trust me, lifesaver).
Color-coded calendars: One color per family member = instant sanity.
Strategy #3: Create ADHD-Approved Zones. Think stations—not full-on room overhauls. A snack zone. A homework zone. A drop zone for keys, bags, and all the random stuff. Label everything. Bonus points if it's cute and makes you feel like a boss.
Strategy #4: Boundaries ARE Self-Care. You are not everyone's everything, every second. Set quiet hours, delegate chores (even if they do it “wrong”), and stop saying yes to every school volunteer role. ADHD burnout is real, and you deserve time to breathe.
Therapist Tip: ADHD expert Dr. Sharon Saline says, "Structure combined with empathy is key." That means building a system that works with your brain, not against it, while giving yourself grace.
Interview Spotlight: Netta from Chatterbrain Mommy Podcast “I learned that setting a timer for 15 minutes and blasting 90’s or good ole gospel music while cleaning helps me finish what I start. It’s weird, but it works. ADHD-friendly hacks are all about joy and movement.” — Netta
Need more hacks, humor, and realness? Grab my eBook Focus, Energize, and Thrive—your not-so-typical guide to managing motherhood, ADHD, and all the chaos that comes with it.
And check out my Amazon ADHD Mom Survival List: from digital planners to colorful dry-erase calendars.
Weekly Dry Erase Planner for Busy Moms
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I genuinely love and trust!
How to Manage ADHD Without Losing Your Mind
Treating ADHD is not about fixing a "broken" brain; in fact, treating ADHD is about learning how your own brain works and preparing yourself for success.
There are tested and true strategies that can make a big difference, but what works for one person won't necessarily work for another.
Because living well with ADHD is definitely possible, following are some helpful tools and methods that will serve you well, whether you've just received an official diagnosis or simply wish to bring your daily life under control.
1. Medication (It’s Not a Magic Pill, But It Helps)
Stimulants like Ritalin and Adderall equalize the dopamine levels so that it is simple to focus. Non-stimulants like Strattera also work for some people. Medication is not for everybody, yet for many, it is a game-changer.
2. Behavioral Therapy (Because Your Brain Needs a Personal Trainer Too)
Cognitive behavior therapy, or CBT, is helpful in improving emotional control, reprogramming negative thoughts, and creating healthier habits. Structure and accountability can also be achieved by consulting with an ADHD coach.
3. Lifestyle Hacks for ADHD
Move Your Body: Exercise makes ADHD brains concentrate in addition to being healthy for your physical body. Even a walk makes a difference.
Hack Your Sleep: ADHD and sleep issues go together. Develop a bedtime routine, do not use screens right before bed, and, if you get distracted easily, use white noise.
Feed Your Brain Properly: High-protein diets, omega-3 fatty acids, and complex carbohydrates can all help manage energy and focus. (That mid-day sugar crash? Not your friend.)
4. Productivity Hacks (Because Traditional To-Do Lists Don’t Work for Us)
The Pomodoro Technique: Work for 25 minutes, then break for 5 minutes. Repeat. It prevents your brain from checking out.
Use Alarms & Reminders: Set timers for literally everything—meetings, meals, taking out the trash, you name it.
Body Doubling: Having someone to work with (even virtually) can keep you on track.
Visual Cues: Post-it notes, whiteboards, and color-coded calendars can make tasks easier to follow.
Do the Hard Stuff First: Do difficult tasks first when your brain is most alert (usually at the beginning of the day).
At the end of the day, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to ADHD, but with the proper mix of tools—medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, and productivity techniques—you can develop a system that works with your brain, not against it. Improvement isn't about perfection; it's about purpose.
Want a place to track your routines, hacks, goals, and wins in an ADHD-friendly way?
Check out my ADHD Planner—designed specifically for brains like ours. It's not just a planner; it’s a lifeline to structure, support, and self-compassion.
Check out my eBook, Focus, Energize, & Thrive, for holistic tips and practical tools for managing ADHD and finding calm in the chaos.
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you—if you make a purchase through one of these links. I only recommend products I genuinely love and believe can add value, especially for ADHD brains like ours. Thank you for supporting this blog!
My Birthday Reflection on Growth with ADHD
Today is my birthday. And honestly, most birthdays once used to have a tinge of bitterness for me. There was always this undertone of sadness underlying the celebrations, because my mom isn't with me anymore.
Not being able to celebrate this day with her, not getting to hear her voice or catch her hug, left an aching gap which felt hard to fill.
A photo of my beautiful Momma, Dorothy W. Jones, on the right and my, her twin, Netta on the left. This is one of my favorite photos that I will always cherish♥️♥️♥️
But somewhere along the way, I've grown to accept that grief and temper it into something different—into joy, into gratitude, into living my life in her honor.
And today, I am complete. I am at peace. I am at ease. I am ready—with open arms—to welcome whatever God has in store for me.
Reflecting on 42: A Year of Miracles
Looking back over this past year of my life—age 42—I can see how far I've come.
I have accomplished more in one year than I ever could have imagined, and honestly, more than many get to accomplish in a whole lifetime. And I don't say this triumphantly—I say it gratefully.
New Callings and Creative Courage
I began a new profession (my 4th and final career) as a birth and postpartum doula, stepping in intentionally and working with families through some of their most sacred moments.
I launched two publications on Substack, Vent to Victory, where I turn vents of day-to-day life as an ADHDer, mom, wife, and Black woman in America into a victory. The main publication is ADHDventures in Homeschooling, where I talk about the life of homeschooling as a mommy with ADHD, the goods, the chaos, and gratitude.
I began a blog, a podcast (Chatterbrain Mommy), and an e-book that is deeply personal and emotional to my journey.
Connections That Became Chosen Family
With all that, I've encountered some of the sweetest souls—those who've not only advised me but who now are friends, sisters, and chosen family.
They've invested in me just as I've learned to invest in others.
The Radical Shift: Choosing Myself First
But perhaps the most revolutionary of this journey? I've learned to put myself first.
As someone with ADHD, that hasn't always been intuitive. We get pulled in by the hustle, by the whirl of overthinking and overstimulation, constantly chasing after the next thing or trying to "catch up."
But this year, I took my foot off the gas.
I learned to sleep without guilt.
I embraced quiet.
I re-established my spirituality, deepening my connection with God in a way that keeps me centered no matter what's going on around me.
I began to turn about the old habits and replacing them with intentional routines. I found joy within myself. I stopped waiting for peace and instead learned how to create it.
A photo of me as I embrace the beautiful bloom of many flowers, meaning many opportunities arise as I walk in my purpose.
A photo of me as I am so joyful. These flowers were given to me by my baby daughter on my 21st anniversary on 4/13/2025.
Walking Boldly in My Purpose
That's why I'm still strutting my stuff confidently in my ministry as an ADHD life and wellness coach. In spite of the bumps, in spite of the doubt, I know this is what I am called to do.
My coaching website will be live in a few weeks, and I'm already taking pre-appointments.
I've had single-session work that has reminded me how desperately this work is needed—and I'm just so blessed to be creating a successful business where I can come fully, not only for my clients, but for my family as well.
Welcoming 43: A Year for Blooming
This year, 43 is going to be about growth and establishment. Last year was establishing—putting the foundation down. This year is about watering the seeds that I planted last year and watching them bloom.
So stay tuned. God’s not done. I’m walking in my purpose, with love in my heart, and fire in my spirit—and I’m ready to help others do the same.
How to Help Your Homeschool Child Get Organized (When You’re Brain is Unorganized)
The term "organized chaos" isn't just a catchphrase if you're anything like me; it's a way of life. I frequently feel like I'm barely surviving as a mom with ADHD who homeschools. Nevertheless, here I am, attempting to teach my children the same skill that I find most difficult: organizing.
I recognize the irony. The good news is that you don't need to be a naturally organized person to help your children learn how to be organized. Teaching them can actually be a learning experience for both of you. Even if you've never used a planner before, you can still come up with a method that works if you have a little humor, patience, and ingenuity.
Learning Alongside My Kids
I’ll be honest: when I first tried to get my child to organize his homeschool work, it was an absolute disaster. Papers everywhere, lost pencils, and forgotten assignments. I tried color-coded folders, elaborate schedules, and even bought a fancy planner, but within days, it all fell apart.
That’s when I realized I was approaching it the wrong way. Instead of trying to teach a system that I wasn’t even good at, I needed to make it a team effort. So, I reframed my approach:
💡 Instead of "Let me teach you how to be organized," I switched to "Let’s learn this together."
That one change made a world of difference.
1. Start Small & Keep It Simple
Burnout is inevitable if you attempt to change your homeschooling system all at once (for you and your child). Rather, begin with tiny, doable measures.
✅ Choose one thing at a time—maybe organizing their daily assignments or setting up a routine for putting supplies away.
✅ Set a timer for five minutes at the end of the day to do a quick tidy-up of the homeschool area.
What is working for us: We started with a "Clean Desk Challenge." At the end of school or when I want my 6-year-old to clean his toys, we set a timer and spend five minutes organizing our workspace. No pressure, no stress—just a quick reset. Small steps, big impact.
2. Make It Visual (Because ADHD Brains Need It!)
I cannot rely on memory alone to keep us on track. So, I turned to visual supports—the lifeline of every ADHD household.
📌 Charts, color-coded labels, and sticky notes are our best friends.
📖 What worked for us: We created a homeschool binder where my child can see everything at a glance. Inside, we have:
A checklist of subjects for the day
A simple, flexible "unscheduled schedule"
A place to store completed work so nothing gets lost
My son loves checking things off. It gives him a sense of accomplishment, and I love that it keeps him on track without me nagging.
3. Make It a Game (Because Fun = Engagement)
Let’s be real—if it’s not fun, ADHD brains check out. So, we turned organizing into a game.
🎯 How we do it:
We play a game called "Speedy Clean"—where we race against a timer to see who can finish their task first.
My job: Organizing the papers and books
His job: Sorting crayons, markers, and supplies into their proper spots
Guess who wins every time? Hint: It’s not me. 😂
🏆 Bonus Tip: Add rewards! Stickers, small treats, or extra screen time work wonders for motivation.
4. Lead by Example (Even If You Struggle)
This part is hard because—let’s be honest—if I were naturally organized, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But the truth is, kids learn from what they see, not just what we say.
What worked for us: I started doing one small, visible habit every day—making my bed.
One morning, my son saw me doing it and proudly announced: "I’m going to make my bed too, Mommy!" It wasn’t perfect, but he tried, and that’s what matters.
Moral of the story: Your kids don’t need you to be perfect. They just need to see you trying.
5. Celebrate Progress (Not Perfection)
Organization isn’t about doing things perfectly every time—it’s about building habits.
🙌 How we celebrate: We have "Organization Fridays." Every Friday, we:
Do a quick reset of our homeschool area
Reflect on what worked that week
Treat ourselves to something fun (a movie, game night, or a treat)
These little victories keep us motivated and remind us that progress is more important than perfection.
Final Thoughts: Growing Together
Helping your homeschooled child get organized when you feel entirely unorganized yourself can feel impossible. But the truth is, it’s one of the most humbling and rewarding things you can do.
💡 You don’t have to be a master of organization to teach it. You just have to be willing to learn alongside your child.
💡 The goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress. And along the way, you’re teaching them not just how to arrange their schoolwork, but how to be resilient, adaptable, and problem-solving thinkers.
That’s a win for both of you.
Ready to build systems that work for you and your child? Download my guide, Homeschooling Like a Pro (Even With ADHD!), for more practical tips and strategies to thrive in homeschooling and beyond.
Why You're Failing at ADHD: Undiagnosed and Misdiagnosed in Black Women
Image credits
Jessica Felicio
As a Black Woman with ADHD, I was both misdiagnosed and undiagnosed as a teenager and as an adult. I was a busy child, but not busy enough to be considered hyperactive.
I was considered to be busy, not bad, because my mama didn’t want me to have the concept that I was bad or had behavior issues. Another symptom that I had when I was a kid was that I was a “chatterbox.”
Well, that hasn’t changed much at all, and sometimes my mouth moves faster than my mind. I talked for hours about different things, and I was just considered gifted.
I knew how to behave when in public and was just simply silly acting when at home. My parents did not look at me as if something was wrong with me because I was deemed to be so intelligent.
They thought this because, according to my teachers and how they observed me, I learned objectives faster than the average child my age and retained so much information.
Now, I cannot say this in today’s day and time because I have more of a “chatterbrain.”
Fast forward to today’s time. As an adult, I was misdiagnosed as having ADD for years, beginning at age 31.
The first psychiatrist and therapist that I saw stated that I had ADD because my attention span was very short during my sessions and I did not make eye contact for a long period.
Since they weren’t my boo thang, I didn’t realize that I had to look them in the eye, so why would I do so in the first place?
In my eyes, they were simply there to know my business and not to help with anything that I couldn’t help with myself.
Then I went to one psychiatrist, and she informed me that my diagnosis was incorrect.
I was appalled because I knew that I did have attention issues. The psychiatrist based their diagnosis on what was observed and talked about in the office, as well as any notes that the therapist wrote in their sessions.
I was then given the correct diagnosis of having ADHD.
Both my therapist and psychiatrist explained to me the symptoms that I resonated with as to why I now have ADHD and not ADD.
'What's wrong with me?' ADHD undiagnosed in Black girls
This type of misdiagnosis happens all the time to Black women specifically.
Some psychiatric physicians will not look deeply into what is going on with the patient based on their symptoms, conversation, or how they are acting. Instead, these physicians will just come up with something on their own or look it up online without really utilizing observation or testing.
When the physicians do this, they will just prescribe a specific medication, which entails more issues than before.
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. ~Aristotle
Overall, there is no better teacher than you.
It is important to understand your diagnosis and not self-diagnose but to know what is going on with your body and mind.
This will save a lot of misdiagnosing and underdiagnosing time for physicians if there is a clearer understanding to begin with.
This all starts with recognizing symptoms and knowing when something isn’t quite right.
Have you ever been undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with a mental illness?
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Check out the planner listed here that helped me stay on task daily.