The Overlooked Struggles – Emotional Well-being of ADHD Moms
Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough airtime: the emotional toll of being a mom with ADHD. Sure, we hear a lot about managing chores, routines, and to-do lists, but what about the deep stuff—the guilt, the overwhelm, the constant sense of falling short?
The Hidden Weight ADHD Moms Carry: Being a mom is already a full-time mental load, but add ADHD into the mix, and it becomes a whirlwind of emotional highs and lows. According to a 2022 study published in Journal of Attention Disorders, women with ADHD are more prone to anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation, especially during motherhood.
You’re not just trying to manage your own life—you’re managing little humans, expectations, and all the invisible work of motherhood with a brain that resists structure. That’s a LOT.
Emotional Struggles We Don’t Talk About Enough
Guilt: For forgetting appointments, for snapping at the kids, for not having it all together.
Shame: For comparing yourself to the “organized moms” and constantly coming up short.
Overwhelm: The mental noise is never-ending. It’s not just the mess—it’s the emotional chaos that comes with it.
Imposter Syndrome: Feeling like you’re faking this whole motherhood thing and someone’s about to expose you.
Coping Strategies That Actually Help
1. Reframe the Narrative: You’re not a “bad” mom—you have a different brain. Period. Repeat that until it sticks. Use affirmations like, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough,” or “Progress over perfection.”
2. Therapy Is Not a Luxury—It’s a Lifeline: Consider ADHD-informed therapy or coaching. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has shown strong results for emotional regulation in adults with ADHD. Coaching can also offer practical, non-judgmental support.
3. Mindfulness, But ADHD-Friendly: Let's not do 60-minute quiet meditations here. Give this a try:
Five-minute guided meditations (check out Insight Timer)
Walking meditations
Doodling or journaling with some tunes playing
4. Join Your Tribe Community is key: Get in touch with other ADHD moms (online or locally). Begin with communities like the Chatterbrain Mommy Podcast community—we keep it real, unfiltered, and judgment-free.
Expert Opinion: Dr. Kathleen Nadeau (clinical psychologist, ADHD) states, "When women feel understood and supported emotionally, their executive functioning improves. Connection reduces shame and motivation."
Netta's Point from Chatterbrain Mommy Podcast "I used to cry in the bathroom just to have five minutes of peace. As soon as I quit pretending to do it all and started getting help, life lightened up. Not perfect—just lighter.".
If you're nodding your head, then I wrote for you. Get my ADHD mom survival eBook, Focus, Energize, and Thrive. It's half pep talk, half toolkit, and all heart.
Also, check out my Amazon list of emotional wellness goodies—from weighted blankets to fidget rings. Because soothing your nervous system is a form of self-love.
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I genuinely love and trust!
Managing Household Chaos: Tips for Moms with ADHD
Let’s be real: managing a household with ADHD is like trying to organize a rave in a wind tunnel. You’ve got kids yelling, dinner burning, and a calendar full of events you forgot to add reminders for. If this sounds like your daily life, welcome to the club. But don’t worry—chaos can be managed.
The ADHD Brain vs. Daily Routines: Moms with ADHD often struggle with executive dysfunction. Translation: starting tasks, prioritizing them, and actually finishing them can feel nearly impossible, especially when there are a million interruptions. According to ADDitude Magazine, routines are a lifeline, but only if they’re flexible, simple, and dopamine-friendly.
Strategy #1: Keep It Simple, Sis (K.I.S.S.) Don’t try to be a Pinterest-perfect planner mama. Use a dry-erase board or a visual daily flow chart for you and the kids. Break things down into mini routines—like a “morning flow” or “evening wind-down”—instead of a strict schedule. ADHD brains thrive with short sprints, not marathons.
Strategy #2: Use ADHD-Friendly Tools. Here’s what can help:
Time Timer: A visual timer that shows how much time is left.
Todoist or Trello: Task apps that let you brain-dump and organize your chaos into boards.
Alexa or Google Assistant: Set up recurring voice reminders and alarms (trust me, lifesaver).
Color-coded calendars: One color per family member = instant sanity.
Strategy #3: Create ADHD-Approved Zones. Think stations—not full-on room overhauls. A snack zone. A homework zone. A drop zone for keys, bags, and all the random stuff. Label everything. Bonus points if it's cute and makes you feel like a boss.
Strategy #4: Boundaries ARE Self-Care. You are not everyone's everything, every second. Set quiet hours, delegate chores (even if they do it “wrong”), and stop saying yes to every school volunteer role. ADHD burnout is real, and you deserve time to breathe.
Therapist Tip: ADHD expert Dr. Sharon Saline says, "Structure combined with empathy is key." That means building a system that works with your brain, not against it, while giving yourself grace.
Interview Spotlight: Netta from Chatterbrain Mommy Podcast “I learned that setting a timer for 15 minutes and blasting 90’s or good ole gospel music while cleaning helps me finish what I start. It’s weird, but it works. ADHD-friendly hacks are all about joy and movement.” — Netta
Need more hacks, humor, and realness? Grab my eBook Focus, Energize, and Thrive—your not-so-typical guide to managing motherhood, ADHD, and all the chaos that comes with it.
And check out my Amazon ADHD Mom Survival List: from digital planners to colorful dry-erase calendars.
Weekly Dry Erase Planner for Busy Moms
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I genuinely love and trust!
Being Everything, Everywhere, All At Once: ADHD and New Motherhood
You recognize that shot in all the motherhood montages of laundry scattered all over, the dinner burning on the stove, the phone constantly ringing, and the baby bawling? Picture that.
But your head is trying to open all the tabs at the same time—new motherhood with ADHD.
ADHD does not magically disappear when we have a baby.
In fact, it goes into hyperdrive.
The sudden removal of routine, the constant demands, the lack of sleep—it can all be fuel on an already burning five-way brain.
For many moms with ADHD, the postpartum experience is a whirlwind of overstimulation, guilt, and self-doubt.
You may catch yourself sobbing because you forgot the diaper bag for the umpteenth time, yelling at your partner because the pacifier was misplaced, or freezing in place because your mind just ceased functioning.
It's not laziness.
It's not incompetence.
It's executive dysfunction, sensory overload, and hormonal shifts hitting all at once.
And guess what? You're not alone.
Most mothers aren't aware they have ADHD until after their baby is born.
School and work tend to camouflage symptoms—but motherhood lays them bare.
It exposes your coping mechanisms, challenges your routines, and pushes you into survival mode.
So, how do you manage?
Here are a few truths from the trenches:
Routine is your ally. Even a loose rhythm can anchor your day.
Lower the bar. Done is better than perfect. Your baby doesn’t care if the bottles are color-coordinated.
Outsource and delegate. No shame in asking for help or using delivery services.
Use your tools. Timers, sticky notes, whiteboards—whatever helps offload mental clutter.
Honor your rest. Sleep deprivation magnifies ADHD symptoms. Nap when you can.
Mothering is tough.
ADHD does not make it any easier.
But you are doing something wonderful—and messy and beautiful.
You're raising an individual while wending your way through a neurodivergent brain.
Are you an ADHA mom?
What was your biggest challenge in the first few weeks?
How did you manage—or what would you have said to yourself sooner?
How to Manage ADHD Without Losing Your Mind
Treating ADHD is not about fixing a "broken" brain; in fact, treating ADHD is about learning how your own brain works and preparing yourself for success.
There are tested and true strategies that can make a big difference, but what works for one person won't necessarily work for another.
Because living well with ADHD is definitely possible, following are some helpful tools and methods that will serve you well, whether you've just received an official diagnosis or simply wish to bring your daily life under control.
1. Medication (It’s Not a Magic Pill, But It Helps)
Stimulants like Ritalin and Adderall equalize the dopamine levels so that it is simple to focus. Non-stimulants like Strattera also work for some people. Medication is not for everybody, yet for many, it is a game-changer.
2. Behavioral Therapy (Because Your Brain Needs a Personal Trainer Too)
Cognitive behavior therapy, or CBT, is helpful in improving emotional control, reprogramming negative thoughts, and creating healthier habits. Structure and accountability can also be achieved by consulting with an ADHD coach.
3. Lifestyle Hacks for ADHD
Move Your Body: Exercise makes ADHD brains concentrate in addition to being healthy for your physical body. Even a walk makes a difference.
Hack Your Sleep: ADHD and sleep issues go together. Develop a bedtime routine, do not use screens right before bed, and, if you get distracted easily, use white noise.
Feed Your Brain Properly: High-protein diets, omega-3 fatty acids, and complex carbohydrates can all help manage energy and focus. (That mid-day sugar crash? Not your friend.)
4. Productivity Hacks (Because Traditional To-Do Lists Don’t Work for Us)
The Pomodoro Technique: Work for 25 minutes, then break for 5 minutes. Repeat. It prevents your brain from checking out.
Use Alarms & Reminders: Set timers for literally everything—meetings, meals, taking out the trash, you name it.
Body Doubling: Having someone to work with (even virtually) can keep you on track.
Visual Cues: Post-it notes, whiteboards, and color-coded calendars can make tasks easier to follow.
Do the Hard Stuff First: Do difficult tasks first when your brain is most alert (usually at the beginning of the day).
At the end of the day, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to ADHD, but with the proper mix of tools—medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, and productivity techniques—you can develop a system that works with your brain, not against it. Improvement isn't about perfection; it's about purpose.
Want a place to track your routines, hacks, goals, and wins in an ADHD-friendly way?
Check out my ADHD Planner—designed specifically for brains like ours. It's not just a planner; it’s a lifeline to structure, support, and self-compassion.
Check out my eBook, Focus, Energize, & Thrive, for holistic tips and practical tools for managing ADHD and finding calm in the chaos.
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you—if you make a purchase through one of these links. I only recommend products I genuinely love and believe can add value, especially for ADHD brains like ours. Thank you for supporting this blog!
My Birthday Reflection on Growth with ADHD
Today is my birthday. And honestly, most birthdays once used to have a tinge of bitterness for me. There was always this undertone of sadness underlying the celebrations, because my mom isn't with me anymore.
Not being able to celebrate this day with her, not getting to hear her voice or catch her hug, left an aching gap which felt hard to fill.
A photo of my beautiful Momma, Dorothy W. Jones, on the right and my, her twin, Netta on the left. This is one of my favorite photos that I will always cherish♥️♥️♥️
But somewhere along the way, I've grown to accept that grief and temper it into something different—into joy, into gratitude, into living my life in her honor.
And today, I am complete. I am at peace. I am at ease. I am ready—with open arms—to welcome whatever God has in store for me.
Reflecting on 42: A Year of Miracles
Looking back over this past year of my life—age 42—I can see how far I've come.
I have accomplished more in one year than I ever could have imagined, and honestly, more than many get to accomplish in a whole lifetime. And I don't say this triumphantly—I say it gratefully.
New Callings and Creative Courage
I began a new profession (my 4th and final career) as a birth and postpartum doula, stepping in intentionally and working with families through some of their most sacred moments.
I launched two publications on Substack, Vent to Victory, where I turn vents of day-to-day life as an ADHDer, mom, wife, and Black woman in America into a victory. The main publication is ADHDventures in Homeschooling, where I talk about the life of homeschooling as a mommy with ADHD, the goods, the chaos, and gratitude.
I began a blog, a podcast (Chatterbrain Mommy), and an e-book that is deeply personal and emotional to my journey.
Connections That Became Chosen Family
With all that, I've encountered some of the sweetest souls—those who've not only advised me but who now are friends, sisters, and chosen family.
They've invested in me just as I've learned to invest in others.
The Radical Shift: Choosing Myself First
But perhaps the most revolutionary of this journey? I've learned to put myself first.
As someone with ADHD, that hasn't always been intuitive. We get pulled in by the hustle, by the whirl of overthinking and overstimulation, constantly chasing after the next thing or trying to "catch up."
But this year, I took my foot off the gas.
I learned to sleep without guilt.
I embraced quiet.
I re-established my spirituality, deepening my connection with God in a way that keeps me centered no matter what's going on around me.
I began to turn about the old habits and replacing them with intentional routines. I found joy within myself. I stopped waiting for peace and instead learned how to create it.
A photo of me as I embrace the beautiful bloom of many flowers, meaning many opportunities arise as I walk in my purpose.
A photo of me as I am so joyful. These flowers were given to me by my baby daughter on my 21st anniversary on 4/13/2025.
Walking Boldly in My Purpose
That's why I'm still strutting my stuff confidently in my ministry as an ADHD life and wellness coach. In spite of the bumps, in spite of the doubt, I know this is what I am called to do.
My coaching website will be live in a few weeks, and I'm already taking pre-appointments.
I've had single-session work that has reminded me how desperately this work is needed—and I'm just so blessed to be creating a successful business where I can come fully, not only for my clients, but for my family as well.
Welcoming 43: A Year for Blooming
This year, 43 is going to be about growth and establishment. Last year was establishing—putting the foundation down. This year is about watering the seeds that I planted last year and watching them bloom.
So stay tuned. God’s not done. I’m walking in my purpose, with love in my heart, and fire in my spirit—and I’m ready to help others do the same.
Why You're Failing at ADHD: Undiagnosed and Misdiagnosed in Black Women
Image credits
Jessica Felicio
As a Black Woman with ADHD, I was both misdiagnosed and undiagnosed as a teenager and as an adult. I was a busy child, but not busy enough to be considered hyperactive.
I was considered to be busy, not bad, because my mama didn’t want me to have the concept that I was bad or had behavior issues. Another symptom that I had when I was a kid was that I was a “chatterbox.”
Well, that hasn’t changed much at all, and sometimes my mouth moves faster than my mind. I talked for hours about different things, and I was just considered gifted.
I knew how to behave when in public and was just simply silly acting when at home. My parents did not look at me as if something was wrong with me because I was deemed to be so intelligent.
They thought this because, according to my teachers and how they observed me, I learned objectives faster than the average child my age and retained so much information.
Now, I cannot say this in today’s day and time because I have more of a “chatterbrain.”
Fast forward to today’s time. As an adult, I was misdiagnosed as having ADD for years, beginning at age 31.
The first psychiatrist and therapist that I saw stated that I had ADD because my attention span was very short during my sessions and I did not make eye contact for a long period.
Since they weren’t my boo thang, I didn’t realize that I had to look them in the eye, so why would I do so in the first place?
In my eyes, they were simply there to know my business and not to help with anything that I couldn’t help with myself.
Then I went to one psychiatrist, and she informed me that my diagnosis was incorrect.
I was appalled because I knew that I did have attention issues. The psychiatrist based their diagnosis on what was observed and talked about in the office, as well as any notes that the therapist wrote in their sessions.
I was then given the correct diagnosis of having ADHD.
Both my therapist and psychiatrist explained to me the symptoms that I resonated with as to why I now have ADHD and not ADD.
'What's wrong with me?' ADHD undiagnosed in Black girls
This type of misdiagnosis happens all the time to Black women specifically.
Some psychiatric physicians will not look deeply into what is going on with the patient based on their symptoms, conversation, or how they are acting. Instead, these physicians will just come up with something on their own or look it up online without really utilizing observation or testing.
When the physicians do this, they will just prescribe a specific medication, which entails more issues than before.
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. ~Aristotle
Overall, there is no better teacher than you.
It is important to understand your diagnosis and not self-diagnose but to know what is going on with your body and mind.
This will save a lot of misdiagnosing and underdiagnosing time for physicians if there is a clearer understanding to begin with.
This all starts with recognizing symptoms and knowing when something isn’t quite right.
Have you ever been undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with a mental illness?
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Check out the planner listed here that helped me stay on task daily.