Boundaries and RSD: How Saying No Protects Your ADHD Brain

This week tested me professionally in a way that hit deep. I had to enforce a boundary with a client — not a preference, not ego — an ethical one.

Here’s what happened, how RSD kicked in, and what it taught me about my ADHD brain.

After 6.5 weeks of educating, supporting, guiding, and pouring into this family, I did not agree with a decision they made regarding their child. I respectfully stood firm. I communicated my concerns. I stayed professional.

And just like that — I was no longer “a good fit.”

What made it sting harder? I informed my agency owner… and they didn’t have my back.

That’s when RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) kicked in like a freight train.

Suddenly, I wasn’t just disappointed — I was questioning myself.
Was I too rigid?
Was I too strong?
Was I in the wrong field?
Was I “difficult”?

ADHD brains don’t just process rejection — we internalize it.

We relive it.

We dissect it.

But here’s the truth I had to sit with:

I am an expert Doula.
I have decades of experience.
I educate. I serve. I protect.

And if a parent chooses differently for their child after I’ve educated them, that is their right.

I do not control outcomes.
I control integrity.

Then something beautiful happened.

My new part-time client — who I’ve only worked with 2–3 nights a week — told me how much they appreciate me. Called me an expert. Affirmed my value. And even gave me a Valentine’s thank-you gift… just for being me.

Same profession.
Same me.
Different perception.

That’s when it clicked.

Not everyone will agree with you.
Not everyone will like you.
Not everyone will receive you.

And that doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

Sometimes you just outgrow rooms.

Sometimes you’re too grounded for chaos.

And sometimes God removes you from a table where your integrity would’ve been the price of admission.

Pros of Boundaries (Especially with ADHD & RSD)

• ✔ Protects your mental health

• ✔ Preserves professional integrity

• ✔ Builds long-term self-respect

• ✔ Teaches emotional regulation

• ✔ Filters out misaligned relationships

Cons (Real Talk)

• ✘ People may label you as “difficult”

• ✘ You may lose income

• ✘ RSD can spiral you into overthinking

• ✘ You may temporarily doubt your calling

But here’s the grown-woman truth:

“No” is a complete sentence.

You do not owe explanations for ethical standards.
You do not owe silence to keep peace.
And you are not required to shrink to stay hired.

Boundaries aren’t rejection.
They’re protection.

And sometimes you have to let go and let God.

How you can reset

You don’t need more discipline.
You need a reset.

✨ ADHD Reset Audio
This audio reset is designed to calm your nervous system, quiet the mental noise, and help you reconnect with clarity and peace—without forcing productivity or perfection.

Listen when your brain feels stuck, overwhelmed, or frozen.
Let it guide you back to center.

👉 Listen here: Audio Course

📖 ADHD Reset Guide
If you need something practical to walk you through simplifying, refocusing, and restarting—this guide gives you gentle structure without pressure.

It’s not about doing more.
It’s about removing what’s blocking you.

👉 Get the guide here:ADHD Reset Guide

Resetting isn’t falling behind.
It’s choosing peace so progress can follow.